This week’s mom is Stacy. Stacy has an unusual family dynamic and I’m sure you will find her and her family to be as extraordinary as I do.
1. Tell me about your family.
I am a mother of two. I have a daughter that is 30 years old and a son that is 23. I also have legal custody of my daughters son and he is 11. This is because my daughter had a stroke when he was just two months old. My daughter lives on her own and both boys live with me.
2. What Is your child or children’s best quality?
Amanda is caring with a big heart. she helps people when she can without getting things in return. she is also “VERY” independent and insists on doing things on her own. even if she’s having trouble doing something and you offer help she’s still insist on doing it by herself.
Cody is a helper, when it comes to other people. Will lend a hand when he is able to. Also, a hard worker when he is focused and calm. Cody is really good with kids. He will play basketball with the older kids. Toddlers just love his attention!!
3. What is your child’s biggest challenge?
Amanda’s biggest challenge, is not being able to do certain things on her own. The biggest challenge was coming back after she had her stroke. Having to learn things all over again and having a big struggle doing so.
Cody’s struggle as he grew up was how do I fit in? ADHD has its ups and downs. When things were bad, they were really bad. He has a speech impediment, tics and loves pacing. Staying on top of things, and getting his mind to slow down a bit so he can cope are hard.
4.What does the world not understand about your child?
Amanda has no motivation or the ability to think on the spot. Her short term memory is not good. So not only does she get frustrated, anyone she’s with also gets frustrated.
With Cody, there is no organization in his life. Sometimes it takes him longer to process things compared to others. His mental abilities are compared to maybe a sixteen-year-old. As far as the thought process goes and social behavior.
5.How can a passerby help you during a challenging moment? (Example open a door when your hands are full, help with other children during a meltdown, keep walking and don’t stare etc.)
I guess it depends on the situation. Cody can be talked down when his anxiety is out of control, most of the time. When Amanda gets angry or worked up, there is no calming her down. The best is to let her leave the situation and cool off. I am not sure if a kind and helpful stranger would be able to help, but if there was a chance it would be greatly appreciated.
6. Would you prefer curious people come up to you or your child and ask questions or mind their own business?
Unless they are related or are involved with the situations I think it’s best to mind their own business.
7. What is your biggest hope for your child’s future?
I hope that they gain some Independence. That they can do things without help or reminders. And get some motivation to do things without being told or asked.
8. What do you wish you could tell yourself at the beginning of your special needs journey?
With Cody, to remain calm and take a deep breath. With Amanda, have patience, lots of patience!
9. What would you ask your future self?
How did you handle an out of control situation? Did you have any outside help?
10. Do you have any words of encouragement for other special needs moms?
Don’t sweat the small stuff, take a deep breath and stay calm. Remember to take time for yourself. If you don’t, things can go haywire and cause chaos.